Inspriation

As if I ever needed any more motivation to save the planet....I watched this PBS program tonight.  Couldn't be more convinced that something needs to be done to help these creatures and their habitats.  Its only an hour long and its very interesting. I recommend that everyone watches it.

http://video.pbs.org/video/1108704964

a moment with a squirrel

I'm going to attempt to paint a picture for you.  My bed rests against a wall in my room with a window that houses my air conditioner.  i sleep with my head directly next to the air conditioner for optimal coolness while i sleep.  Well, i woke up the other morning to scratching on the outside half of the air conditioner. I opened the blinds to find a squirrel looking at me.  Separated only by a single pane window, we were merely 5 inches away from each other, looking into the eyes of one another.  To my absolute amazement, the squirrel put his tiny paw up to the window and held it there.  Instinctively i held my index finger up to his paw ( truly a Tarzan and Jane moment).  We held this artificial contact for a moment and then he fled to the edge of the air conditioner to attempt the leap of faith back into the tree, 4 stories above the ground.  His first attempt was nearly deadly, I watched as he clung to the end with his back paws, facing the far off ground head on.  I held my breathe as i could only see his little paws and hear the panic scratching and scrambling of his dangling body on the opposite side.  Then he miraculously flung himself round and panted as he rested for a moment looking back into the window before making another attempt.  I watched as he made it to the closest limb and the scurried down the tree to lower grounds.  This event all happened in less than a minute yet it was one of the most meaningful and intense moments I've experienced in a while.  I felt truly connected to nature, to the wild, and to this little squirrel.

My wish for you

Dont change you
I see how you change when they're around
I see how they change you
But what you don't know is
the real you is the you i miss
Why do you change you?
is it because you think they look down?
But do you know that they bring you down
When you change you
you hold yourself back
Why do you put on this act?
is it because you think they have it better off?
but do you know that your destined for higher places
Dont change you
for the fear of their angry faces
I hope you can learn to stay true
Dont be the one they want you to be
Dont change you
In the real you, no flaws do i see
stay true and someday all of they
will be wishing they could be just like you
Please dont change you
i love you.

Attempted Hakuna Matata

I just watched the lion king and i was reminded of a wonderful phrase.  Hakuna Matata.  No worries.  And i was able to relate it to how i have been feeling recently.  I have been feeling frustrated with having to defend every decision i make.  I am succeeding and i dont see why it matters how im doing it, if its the way i want and im happy with it.  Im going to do it this way no matter what any one says, so why say it :)  Im trying not to worry about people's comments, and worrying about what they say about me.  no worries.  I love my life right now.  Im not only getting good grades, but im actually learning.  I balance my school work and friends.  Im making grown up decisions everyday without help and i couldn't be more proud of myself.  And the best of all is that im having fun doing all of this.  I dont like to see the little flaws in myself and others and i dont really understand why people like to point out mine.  but im just not going to worry.

Meeting with Mr. Gandhi

Today i had a fantastic opportunity.  I was able to listen to Arun Manilal Gandhi give a speech at school tonight. He is the grandson of the Mahatma Gandhi.  I couldn't have felt more honored to sit in a room with such an influential person.  Arun left his home town in South Africa to escape a prejudice and live with his grandfather in India where he learned his nonviolent ways. He has devoted his life to spreading the teachings of his grandfather and to help keep the love alive.  He made many points that i know i will never forget.

One of which was; that violence is caused by anger and unless we know how to harness our anger into positive actions, the hatred in the world will never stop.  And violence is not just physical.  It is anything that hurts another person.  And the best way to know if you're being violent is to think.....if i was that person and that happened to me, would i be happy or hurt.  And once you can recognize when you are being violent and recognize the anger that surrounds it, we can start to harness it.

He also talked about relationships and how we can be violent within them.  Relationships are about mutual respect. And we must realize that we are not always in them to gain something for ourselves.  Sometimes we have to stay with them simply for that person. and that is its purpose.  weather we like it or not running away isnt the answer when it hurts someone.

Another amazing point he brought up was the greed of people.  And how foreign policies are set up in a way that in the end just benefits each owns country.  and by doing that someone always looses.  We are all one people, underneath race, religion and gender labels, we are all human beings and when one of us falls, we will all fall.  This constant sense of self creates hatred.  And when theres hatred theres anger, and when people use their anger in the wrong way they make mistakes that can change the course of their entire life and the lives of many.  Arun placed seeds in my brain that i can already feel growing into great ideas.

There was one comment he made that really hit home for me, because i struggled with this realization a while ago.  He said that in America and many other places people go to college to study a major that they can manipulate to get rich.  When people should be going to college to study a major to develop character.  We need to forget about the career sometimes and focus on the character. I completely agree with him having been on both sides of the spectrum. and i believe in creating character, because those are the people i ultimately want around me.  AND WE MUST BE THE CHANGE WE WISH TO SEE IN THE WORLD

tonight was definitely thought provoking and i will remember it for the rest of my life.  These messages and the many others that he spoke of tonight will stick im sure.  And im still in awe that i was able to listen to him speak.

GOALS; for tomorrow and the coming decades

short and long term goals as of today....take them as you wish
-get a 3.7 or higher this quarter.
-make enough money this summer to pay for gas, and be able to save some for books next year
-recycle more
-graduate with as many certificates as possible
-travel to australia
-make a living in australia
-pick up a hint of an australian accent
-lower my carbon foot print
-help the world lower their carbon foot prints
-be someone's hero
-make a career out of what i love to do
-never settle
-eat less meat
-buy more locally grown food
-loose weight and be healthier
-go to the zoo more often
-adopt an animal
-be a better friend
-go skydiving
-start a family
-and last but not least OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT

:):)

'merica

In the past 10 years Osama has been hiding, his network must have know then that his death was obama's top priority.  I don't think this death was anything unprepared for.  I don't believe that the death of one man will end the hate. But the invasion of their country for 10 years might increase the hate. If one believes in terrorizing, i dont believe that this would stop them.  in the past 10 years we've been sending our soliders to war, and imposing on an entire country, and entire culture, to search for this guy and "weapons of mass destruction".  his death means alot for the death of the loved ones lost in the twin towers, and that loss will never be forgotten even after today.  but what about the lives of the loved ones who have fallen in war, not just the americans but everyone involved.  what will justify their deaths?  it seems like a never ending cycle of death and destruction.  im not against wanting to defend your country and increase safety, in fact i think our soldiers are very brave and honorable.  but i just dont get this situation, thats just how i feel right now.  Im beyond confused and disheartened.  what is this war about anymore??  how can i believe anything that is told to me? from where im standing we r at war searching for a justification to be at war.  or maybe im just a stupid hippie.   whoop whoop 'merica!

outside my dorm i can hear large groups students rejoicing, singing, yelling, blasting music. guess u got what u wanted osama.  we r completely obsessed with u.

-peace and love :)

ignorance is not bliss!

This is something I'm very passionate about.  PLEASE READ.

I wonder how much of our daily activities we would do if we knew the impacts that they had.  I think its safe to say that most people would make little changes here and there.  Since learning more information on sustainability and ecosystem health, I've vowed to keep up with these little changes.  Since man discovered fish in the ocean we have been living off of their plenty.  But now there isn't plenty.  For example, the cod fish population in New Foundland has completely crashed due to over fishing.  The place that drew people in for the richness in cod fish and opportunity is now deserted of cod fish and opportunity.  The Blue Fin Tuna is very sought after as a delicacy in many places around the world.  It is highly endangered due to over fishing, yet it is still being fished and served in restaurants that you may eat in.  On average around 90% of the predatory fish in the ocean are gone.  Where did they go you may ask?  WE ATE THEM.  With the absence of the predatory fish we are disrupting the balance of the entire ocean.  An influx of smaller fish will cause an end to even smaller fish and the list goes on.  Soon the ocean will be nothing but algae and jellyfish.  We have already seen a dramatic increase in the jellyfish populations, making beaches unsafe to swim in.  There are regulations that have been put in order to help prevent this from happening.  Quotas have been set for fishermen so that they can harvest a healthy amount of the fish populations and allow them to replenish their numbers naturally.  However in most cases the regulations are ignored.  The ICCAT's recommended amount of tuna that should be harvested is between 8,000-15,000 tons of tuna ( this number is given to help ensure that the tuna have a chance of repopulating, it is not determined that even with this decrease they stand a chance at this point).  The Government quota allowance is 29,000 tons.  The actual harvested amount is 61,000 tons.  Still want to have that beautiful piece of blue fin tuna fillet for dinner?  In addition the fishing of these fish is killing other wildlife.  Nets are sent thousands of feet deep and wide to scoop up these fish.  With that the fishermen pick up sea turtles, dolphins, and other unsellable fish.  These fish die and then get thrown back into the ocean.  Well to sum up my rant (if you read down this far), there is something that everyone can do to help the issue.  ASK where your fish is coming from.  ONLY eat sustainable fish.  BUG your government to set up protected areas and to regulate the fishing industry.
heres a link to know what the good fish and bad fish to eat are...
http://www.montereybayaquarium.org/cr/cr_seafoodwatch/sfw_recommendations.aspx?c=ln

I'm proud to be Un-American

Growing up i was told that America is the best place to live.  Land of the free.  yeah right.  Im getting out of here because i refuse to support a place that is so business driven and corrupt.  EVERYONE needs to watch the documentary Gasland.  Its necessary.  Hulu it, netflix, redbox, illegally download it.  I dont care.  find it and watch it.

The immensity of the fuck I do not give.

It's come to my attention recently all of the judgments that spiral around me day to day.  Seeing someone sitting alone at dinner, watching someone hula hoop by themselves barefoot in the middle of the green.  Watching someone skip to class and sing along to no music.  Starring at the tattoos on my server's arms instead of his face while he politely asks me what I want on my sandwich.  All of these people that I've seen have something in common...they don't give a fuck about what I think about them.  And for that I think very highly of them.  They truly march to the beat of their own drum, and never worry about missing a beat.  Furthermore I have decided that I am at my happiest when I have not a worry in the world about how people see me.  That is when I am most myself, and that is how I want people to know me.  And frankly I'm done wondering why others do things, I'm just going to accept them as they come.  So if you don't like the way I am or the way I do things.   I don't give a fuck.  :)

picking up the pieces

Picking up the pieces is hard.  We all know this.  Sometimes you get knocked back down just once you've gotten up.  Sometimes it feels like you're never going to catch a break.  These are the times that I like to stop for a moment, put my hand on my heart, take a few breaths and remind myself how beautiful it is to be alive. And today when it felt like I was having the worst day, I had to remind myself how wrong I was, because I woke up this morning.

If I die young

The saying "only the good die young" doesn't just mean something to me, it has completely stopped me in my tracks.  October 7th 2010, a very dear friend of mine passed away in a car accident. He was a true hero to everyone in his life.  A brave protector and caring friend.  The only thing that got me by was reminding myself that he died when he was living his life to the fullest and he was a damn happy kid with loved ones all around.  But then yesterday something happened that I don't know how to deal with.

April 11th 2011, Jimmy decided to jump.

Jimmy was something special.  He was extraordinary on every level.  A true warrior at Walsh Jesuit.  His death has touched everyone in the community, there was not one person, faculty or student, that didn't know his face.  Jimmy never said a bad thing of anyone, even though he had every reason to.  Everyone loved Jimmy, but rarely did anyone show it.  The brunt of every joke, yet he still had a smile on his face to share with everyone daily.  And as we all parted ways to college, I wonder who kept in touch with Jimmy.  Who called or texted him to see how school was going?  Who still checked in with Jimmy to see how his life was?  Not me.  Did anyone?  How can someone hurt so bad, how can someone feel like there's no way out? How can someone feel like they don't have anyone to talk to?  How can someone hurt that bad.  Jimmy is the ultimate warrior and will never be forgotten.  I wonder if he knew that?

If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

Lord make me a rainbow, I’ll shine down on my mother
She'll know I’m safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and
Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
ain't even grey, but she buries her baby

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had just enough time

If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had just enough time

And I’ll be wearing white when I come into your kingdom
I’m as green as the ring on my little cold finger
I’ve never known the lovin' of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand
There’s a boy here in town says he’ll love me forever
Who would have thought forever could be severed by

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had just enough time

So put on your best boys and I’ll wear my pearls
What I never did is done

A penny for my thoughts, oh no I’ll sell them for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I’m a goner

And maybe then you’ll hear the words I've been singin’
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin’

If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

The ballad of a dove
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears; keep them in your pocket
Save them for a time when you're really gonna need them oh

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had just enough time

So put on your best boys and I’ll wear my pearls

Jimmy is missed.  He was too young to die, and now he remains in the hearts of many.  I pray for his family during this time.  

The greatest gift

Currently I'm  majoring in communications with a minor in environmental studies.  I'm in a conservation and biodiversity course right now and I've done research projects on the matter.  In all of my researching I have found a new passion for saving the biodiversity on our planet.  One of the saddest things I found out was the quickly decreasing number in the tiger population....less than 3200 remain, and we loose more everyday.  They have a 12 years expiration date!  In my efforts to practice what I preach and help in any way I can, I found that u can "adopt endangered species" by making a donation.  In thanks for your donation they will send you an adorable plush of the species you helped save and information about the species.  It's a great way to give a gift to someone!  I hope to inspire more people to donate as a gift.  I love my tiger plush, I sleep with it every night and it reminds me of the great thing I did by donating.  Here is a link to the site if I really inspired you...http://www.worldwildlife.org/ogc/index.cfm?sc=AWY1100WC901 spread the word, our planet need our help!

A boring place it would be

Sometimes I get annoyed that people dont understand me, but then I remind myself that we are all different and we cant fully get each other, and thats okay.  In fact I love that we are all different, and that other people are not like me.  It reminds me of a poem I wrote when I was younger and still remember.  Short and sweet and too the point;

If the world were just like me,
a boring place it would be
but instead we are not the same;
a different tongue, a different name,
a different a race, a different face
If the world were just like me
a boring place it would be

the younger me had such a simpler mind.  Its kind of beautiful to think I could use my own advice 10 years later...

Don't cry over spilled coffee...

Today I sat down in class with my hot, delicious, medium Starbucks latte (with only 2 sips taken out of it). I get my notebook out and patiently wait for class to start.  A boy came across the row to sit in the empty seat next to me.  On his way he took out my coffee, spilling it all over the seat and the floor, and the girl in front of him....big mess to say the least considering it was pretty much full.   Instantly I bursted into laughter, and to my surprise, not a hint of anger came over me.  I wasn't even angry inside and trying to hide it so he wouldn't feel bad.  I was sincerely not mad.  Then I began to ask why...I had just spent 10 minutes in line to pay 4 dollars for two sips, yet I didn't care that it was wasted.  Was it because I didn't really want it in the first place?  Why did I even buy it?  I've decided that I buy a lot of things that I don't truly need and or want.  Why?  I feel a change in spending habits coming on.

Frustration

Going to church doesn't make you any more Catholic than standing in a garage makes you a car...

Our Responsibility

Just thinking about material things today.  I enjoy my things a lot.  I'm typing this post on my laptop in my bed in my dorm room, snuggling with my favorite tiger stuffed animal. I use my things every day.  But I'm starting to wonder why I'm claiming these things.  They are not mine.  They are everyone's, they are from the same earth.  Someday i won't have this computer, I won't sleep in this bed in this dorm and I won't be holding this plush.  Someday everything that I claim as "mine" will be left for the next generation.  If these things are not mine but everyone's, this earth is not mine, but our's....why do we not get upset when we see other disrespecting this earth?  We are very protective of only the things we claim as ours, yet we share these things with so many people, essentially.  Shouldn't we protect our greatest, most beautiful, mysterious, most massive possession that we have.  When we die, will this earth still be the greatest possession for our grandchildren?  Just a thought.....

geography fail

this quarter im taking a human geography class. and as our first quiz its a "simple" map quiz of north america, central america, and the carribean.  It's tomorrow and im preparing for it now.  he gave us a list of about 29 countries or provinces (plus the 50 states) about 42 physical features, and 56 cities.  easy enough i thought, ive been looking at maps all my life.  so i printed off blank maps so i could fill them in.  MAN AM I DUMB!
but i feel like im not the only one.  geography is something we dont always commit to memory... (or it could just be that im 19 and dont pay attention...lets find out)

so heres some questions.....dont look them up and if u know them all right away then im wrong and ur incredibly knowledgable and im envious because i only know them after an hour of memorizing and looking at maps

where is...   these were tricky for me, we dont always talk about them
james bay
catskill mountain
snake river
calgary
managua
prince edward island
nanavut
santo domingo
baja california
lake winnipeg
sierra nevada
great basin
hudson bay
new brunswick
bay if campeche

where is..... these i should have known right off the bat but i didnt....embarassing (anyone else?)
cascade mountains
birmingham
kansas city
boston
st. lawrence river
and the great lakes!!! which ones which ahhh?!?!

haha i hope im not the only one who really hard to think about some of these!! this was really eye opening

I Believe...

I believe in myself
I believe everyone is good deep down
I believe in forgiving and forgetting
I believe that tears and yelling don't solve anything
I believe in putting chocolate frosting on my PB&Js
I believe in laughing about it today, and not waiting for a few weeks
I believe that you can still make forts when your 19 years old
I believe that you never "mature", you just learn whats not socially acceptable
I believe in my dreams and all the possibilities they could stand for
I believe in doodling
I believe that any meal is possible in my microwave
I believe in refilling my plastic water bottles
I believe in wearing my jeans more than once before washing them
I believe that a swing set can take all your troubles away
I believe that no religion is wrong
I believe that sometimes loving something means giving it away
I believe in taking the day off
I believe in road trips
I believe in the 1990's nickelodeon shows, not some of this new stuff....
I believe that my itunes shuffle knows more about what's going on in my life than i do sometimes
I believe in channel surfing
I believe in cake for breakfast, why not?
I believe in giving money away, someone else can always need it more than you
I believe in karma
I believe in lowering the drinking age....what 19 year old doesn't?
I believe that i don't laugh at stupid jokes, everyone else is just to plain to understand them
I believe in taking risks
I believe that we all need a vacation
I believe in just breathing sometimes
I believe that everything is connected, but sometimes we don't care to see it
I believe that your life isn't your experiences
I believe that life is the natural processes that occur that keep things alive.  do you ever tell your heart to beat?
I believe that we should respect all levels of life, we wouldn't be here without them
I believe in evolution, and I won't damn you to hell if you don't...
I believe that after 12 years in a Catholic school i realized that i don't want or need a label
I believe that everyone is a hypocrite sometimes, including myself
I believe in sleeping in on Sundays
I believe that as long as i get it done, it shouldn't matter how long i procrastinated
I believe that i have all the knowledge in the world, but i just don't know how to access it sometimes
I believe that Lion King is still the best Disney movie
I believe in giving everyone the benefit of the doubt
I believe that people come and go in your life and that's okay
I believe we can learn something from everyone no matter what their age, race, religion, or values.
I believe that i learn something new everyday
I believe in second chances
I believe that maple/chocolate syrup are the best condiments, would you eat any other ones by themselves?
I believe that the people who believe in me are my greatest friends
I believe that i can accomplish anything on my own, but i appreciate when people help
I believe in sympathy pains...they're real and they hurt!
I believe in doing what you want today because tomorrow is never guaranteed 
I believe that if you read down this far that you believe in some things that i believe in

That is just some of the things that i believe off the top of my head.  what do you believe?

Error:

What do you think would happen if Facebook and Twitter crashed for a day?  For a week?  What about a month?  Would we cope without it, or just wander aimlessly around the web looking for something to distract us?  If it came back on after a month...would we still go on as much as we used to? I wonder........

the vicious cycle I've entered into.....COLLEGE

Almost done with freshman year and i realize that i wish i could have just traveled the world instead.  However now i have the burden of student loans hovering over me and Ive realized that Ive entered into the viscous cycle of college.  It truly saddens me to think that i made the wrong decision.  I now want to travel and discover the world, learn new cultures and live on my own and do art.  However, I'm afraid thats not possible.  Whenever i decide I'm done with the college thing, I'm going to be in debt.  Debt is no place for an world traveling starving artist.

Let me paint you a picture:

When you graduate highschool your usually 17-18.  Then the traditional thing to do is to a.) find a job or b.) go to college.  I chose option b.  after picking the right university from the hundreds out there, they ask you to apply for a particular college within the university that you would like to study in.  From there you pick a major.  Now you can go into college undecided.  However, your paying for each course, so essentially the more time you waste trying to figure it out, the more money your wasting.  MONEY.  Sure i got a bunch of financial aid, and an ass ton of student loans, but that just means I'm putting off paying for college until I graduate. Student loans must start to be paid off in a specified amount of time after you stop attending college.  (whether it be for graduating or dropping out).  Alright this is getting a little complicated.  In four years my loans will be over 30,000 big ones.  add in living expenses and food, cell phone bill, car payments, filling said car with gas, internet/cable, unexpected emergencies....the list goes on.  Where in the world am i going to get all of that money.  I guess i better get a good paying job right out of college.  Well the options that i have are pretty slim.  You have to consider your interests, the demand for the position, the average salary for the position and so much more.  By this time your thinking just a few jobs....doctors, lawyers, and engineers.  WELL I CANT DO ANY OF THOSE.  NOR DO I WANT TO.  so why did i pick option B.  why didn't i just save myself the grief of loans  and job pressure and explore the world while i had the debt-free chance....because i was only 17 and i didn't know any better.  IRONY